kafziel

OK, here's my theory. There are 2 types of spam: advertisements, and scams. This is not surprising, and just about everything can be put in one of these two categories. However, lately, I've been getting some weird, third-category of spam. No images, no links, just text, as follows:

"Unlike so many debutantes who have made their smelly fetishist to us.hole puncher from shadow, waif related to trombone, and mirror for roller coaster are what made America great!Where we can almost confess our tape recorder.Unlike so many guardian angels who have made their varigated cloud formation to us.When nation living with line dancer returns home, fruit cake behind blithe spirit trembles. curvilinear victual recital barbour healthful improvident"

"If beyond cream puff host toothpick behind satellite, then demon beyond prays.When you see toward hand, it means that related to carpet tack gets stinking drunk.labyrinth prefer particle accelerator toward.
role adele congressman brazier yarmulke flatware corbel clutter"

"Heather, the friend of Heather and panics with turn signal living with.starlets remain linguistic.Unlike so many somnambulists who have made their familiar midwife to us.
wigwam cognac alistair hankel stinkpot"

I am confused.

"A modest man never talks about himself."

"Behind every great man, there is an even greater man."

"You should be able to undertake and complete anything."

"There is a prospect of a thrilling time ahead for you."

"A thrilling time is in your immediate future."

Dammit, are they on to us? The " ... in bed" game with fortune cookies isn't funny when they're that blatant!

Memes are fun. This one's just about everywhere, so I might as well contribute my version.

( Queue up all your mp3s in Winamp or equivalent, set it to shuffle, and list the first 20 it plays, no matter how embarrassing )

What the hell? They did it again while I was in class! These cats are seriously freaking me out!

It is a black day. www.goatse.cx has been suspended for posting obscene material, which is illegal in the Christmas Islands (which is what the .cx suffix belongs to). There's a petition here to have the site reinstated; for the good of the internet, I beg all the, uh, two or three people that read this to sign the petition, and post on their journals the same message.

I leave you with a bit of filk, ganked from the kuro5hin.org discussion of the suspension.


A long long time ago
I can still remember how that image used to burn my eyes
And I knew if I had my chance
I could hide a link in a rant
and maybe they'd be pissed off for a while.
But January made me shiver
with every link-troll I deliver
Bad links on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step.
I can't remember if I cried
when I heard about his orphaned site
But something touched me deep inside
the day the goatse died.

So bye bye to the goatse site
Put his fingers up his asshole and his asshole was wide.
Yeah these old trolls were on Slashdot and K5
Singing this will be the day the Net dies
This will be the day the Net dies.

Am I the only one who can't really tell the difference between Jim Belushi and Bill Murray?

So, I have cats. They seem fond of WWE-style wrestling, judging by how often they're tossing each other around. Pics to come ... well, as soon as one of you buys me a digital camera. Please?

A natural 13 or higher to put in Intelligence at creation: about a 97.72% chance, or 5 points by the point-buy system.
Sun Elf race: +0 ECL.
5 levels of Rogue, 5 levels of Assassin, 9 levels of Arcane Archer, 1 level of Spymaster, with all 5 stat boosts going to Int: 190,000 XP.
33,333 plain, nonmagical arrows: 1,666.65 gold.
Firing all those arrows into the ground, to get the inherent +5 enhancement bonus when used by you instilled into them: 13.88875 hours.
Headband of Intellect +6: 36k gold.
Potion of Invisibility, drunk slightly ahead of time: 300 gold, plus a little forewarning.
Potion of Time Stop: 3,825 gold.
Potion of Telekinesis, Caster Level 20: 2,500 gold.
Ring of Three Wishes, one Wish remaining: 32,650 gold.
Using your Invisibility to get a surprise round, then using your action in the surprise round to down the Time Stop potion, then using a standard action in your first Time Stop round to use the potion of Telekinesis, then using a standard action in your second Time Stop round to burn off the Telekinesis in a Violent Thrust, hurling the arrows at key Sneak Attack vulnerable spots, doing an average of ~1,052,906 damage, then using a standard action in your third Time Stop round to activate the Ring, using the Wish left on it; thus allowing you, were they to exist, to drop 1253 Tarrasques in a single surprise round: priceless.

There are some things that good systems should allow you to do. For everything else, there's D&D 3.0.

3.5 version: Grey Elf race, Rogue 9, Assassin 9, Ranger 1 (Favored Enemy: Magical Beast), Arcane Archer 1. A mere 20 arrows, due to the limitation on Telekinesis added in 3.5. That's 444.5 a round to the Tarrasque after Regeneration, 731.5 a round to most things, and 769.5 a round to non-Tarrasque magical beasts.

Bow down before me, for I am king!

As I've said before, I'm fat. Quite so. It's kinda nifty to weigh a power of 2, but it's not at all healthy to be packing 256 pounds on a 5'7" frame.

Anyway, yeah, I had a point somewhere. Oh yeah. Food. You don't get this fat without having some taste in food, knowing what you like and don't like through lots of experimentation. I know what I like to eat, and what I think tastes quite good. I also have some skill as a cook, and as such can make these tasty treats for myself. I often have to cook for my family, and have developed some good recipes for making large quantities of things. So, here. Spaghetti Soup. Whipped up a couple gallons last Tuesday, it was gone by Friday.

You take two pounds of ground beef, add 4 cloves of minced garlic, and brown that in a large skillet. Add two cups of chopped onion, and sautee for a couple minutes. Take this mixture, and dump it in a huge pot, making sure to use a rubber scraper to get the juices into the pot. Add 4 14.5oz cans of chopped tomatos (in juice), add one can of corn (with juice) and one can of corn (strained). Mix this up, then add a gallon of water. Bring it all to a boil, toss in a pound of your favorite noodles (Spaghetti works nicely), then simmer for about 15 minutes, stirring every couple of minutes. When that's done, add a bunch of cilantro, a bit more garlic, and a couple shots of hot sauce, to taste. Cook for a few minutes more, stirring pretty much constantly, to get the flavors mixed in, then try the broth; if you like it, that's all you need to do. If it needs more of something, add more and cook a bit.

Tastes good, is filling, is pretty healthy (lots of vegetables), but it goes quick. Enjoy.

You know, I kinda fear for myself on a genetic level, regarding intelligence. It seems like my family members have had some pretty major brain farts. Like my mother's mother's father. He died back in the 40s. Hunting accident, he was hunting deer and was fatally shot by another hunter, who mistook him for a deer. Very tragic, yes. But, see ... well ...

He was wearing a buckskin jacket. Hunting, for deer, with other deer hunters, while wearing buckskin. There are no words.

OK, does anyone out there know what the japanese word "tozasareta" means? I haven't the slightest damn idea, and I've been checking the internet since forever for it.

OK, I try to avoid using this thing as a place to complain about my family, the way a good 90% of the journals out there do. But this needs to be aired out.

Aren't the most annoying people in the world the people who think they know stuff about computers, and don't, and completely have their heads up their asses, and act on these magnificently WRONG beliefs, and get really angry and really loud if you suggest they were not 100% correct? The people that are generally characterized by hilarious headgear at w00t? It's most annoying when these people are demonstratably smart in other areas. Like my Mom. Whose laptop went with my sister to college (never mind that I had to dip into my college fund if I wanted something other than hand-me-down POS boxen, 486 and suchlike). See, she wanted her files that were on the laptop to stay here, so she copied the drivve containing her files over to this newer computer we've got.

You heard me. Copied the drive. As in, C: to C:, everything both system and non, "Yes to All" on overwriting files. They're both XP boxen, which is fortunate, but still. JESUS. And complains to me that the computer is running oddly. When I point out that this was a horrible mistake, I am told that she had no way of knowing this is bad, and that the IT people at the university at which she works always tell her to do exactly that when she gets a new computer. A blatant lie, but one I'll get a world of shit for calling.

Now, I have to try to fix this, and hope that it'll let me re-use the XP product key. Which it might well not. Argh.

When the sheriff or good cowboy or vigilante or whatever has a shootout with the evil cowboy in a Western, the duel is always at High Noon, right? Right.

When it's over, the good guy goes off into the sunset, either riding off alone or walking off with the girl (usually a waitress), right? Right.

Thus, logically, shootouts last between 6 and 8 hours, depending on the time of year.

Ah, inconsistent genre stereotypes. How I love them.

So, I saw Pirates of the Caribbean last night. That was one of the most awesome movies I'm ever seen, in every sense of the word. Not only was it unbelievably cool and good, but it legitimately put me in a state of awe. I want to be Jack Sparrow when I grow up, which I'm sure is far from an uncommon sentiment, and I'm confident enough in my heterosexuality to be able to admit that were I gay or female, I'd be all over Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp in that movie. As it is, though, I must merely lust after Keira Knightley, with that sexy accent and the streaks in the hair and jesus, she's only 3 months older than me? that could totally work out and suchlike.

Also, Zombie Pirate Monkey. Zombie Pirate Monkey. Jebus. There is no word you can add to that phrase to make it cooler.

Finally got around to making a legitimate animated LJ icon. A Fandom one, as seems befitting. And all y'all what haven't seen Oruchuban Ebichu yet need to.

You look at many LiveJournals out there, and you'll find that most of them have a theme. Some will be "I am crazy", some will be "pity me", some will be "I am a dork", and such. They're not often unequivocably good messages, but still, themes. Mine, I think, has to be "I am a horrible person". You look at a number of my entries, and this is the general impression you'll leave with. And rightly so; I'm not gonna lie about that.

In this vein, tonight an idea was conceived of by my friends and I. A truly brilliant idea. Something that will revolutionize modern sports entertainment. Simply put, the WLWF.

World Leper Wrestling Federation.

Think about it! They'd be punching through each other, decapitating with a clothesline, and suchlike. Easy to pay them; "Ok, last one standing gets the cure. Fight!" And you could do crossovers pretty easily; who'd win in a fight, The Rock or a dozen lepers? It would be hilarious!

I'd be willing to spend money on pay-per-view WLWF, which is more than I could ever say for the WWF or WWE or whatever it's called now.

Finished Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix a little bit ago. Awesome book, no surprise there, but ...
( Rather heinous spoiler here )

Does anyone else find it unusual that the woman who voiced Nekoi Yuzuriha had only done one thing prior to X, according to IMDB? Specifically, a porn flick made in '75 called Tokyo Deep Throat fujin? I mean, assuming she had just turned 18 when she did that, that means that the woman playing the 14-year-old girl in X was 44. At the youngest.

OK, Winamp SUCKS. I download Monty Python's "Vagina Song", play it, and the thrice-damned program immediately busts out the Takani Megumi skin. The one called "Foxy Lady", by mrmoonpants. That's just cruel.

After starting at about noon today, I've managed to read the first 19 volumes of Angel Sanctuary. 3562 image filesthus far, though there's a somewhat higher pagecount, as the scanlationist was smart enough to not split two-page image spreads. Tis awesome and all, but damn, my eyes hurt.

Can't wait for the last book to finish downloading.

YES! Exploitation Now book finally came! Hardcover, highly tasteful black cover with silver lettering, black pages like the site so as to improve contrast ... yep, wonderful piece of work. Only 6 months late, too.

Update to the previous: This also works amazingly well with other slow, serious songs (Cowboy Bebop - Blue, Outlaw Star - Hiro no Tsuki). Don't try it with already fast songs though (Utena - Rinbu Revolution, Star Ocean EX - Hearts), as they're just incomprehensible.

The Powerpuff Girls movie is the coolest thing ever conceived by humanity. The game of tag! An army of superintelligent evil monkeys! Bubbles is voiced by Rikku! And ... and ... monkeys!

Best. Movie. Ever.

You know what's a very, very bad program to segfault when you run it? startx.

Goddamnit.